Since it is so crucial that kids grow up believing in themselves, I have more tips for you.
1) Do not criticize. Criticism can greatly diminish confidence. It is easy for parents to say "See, I told you not to do that and now you are dirty all over." We need to remind ourselves constantly that everytime we diminish their self-esteem, it will take us a lot more effort to restore it. Or even worse, we leave it as it is and the child will hesitate to do new things in future. If you have nothing good to say, it is better not to say anything. Talk to children about their mistake in a positive way.
2) What is your first reaction when you see your child in your room full of lipstick on his lips and all your lipsticks are spoilt? Will you start screaming at him? Most of us would. Then you would have fallen into their trap. What should you do then? Make them clean up the mess, even if it takes half the day. The child have to pay for the lipsticks by either not having a new toy or no Macdonalds for the next two months. Screaming at them does not really help as they already feel frightened when they know you have found out the truth. Let them learn that they have to be responsible for what they do. If they can come up with their own punishment (which you are agreeable to), that would be better.
3) One of the easiest way is to hang up their pictures on the wall so that visitors can take a look at them too. Encourage them to take about the story or idea behind the picture. If your kids are older, you could embark on a project to write a storybook. The child could write on a short chapter a week. They can also hang up short articles or jokes on the wall.
4) Communicate with your child as much as possible. You will need to know what they are feeling and thinking before you can decide on the next course of action. Most parents spend time and money attending courses to find out about how to deal with their children when the most important thing they need to do is to spend more time with them.
5) Help children to find their own interest and build on it. Try not to emphasize on perfection and competition. Instead focus on doing their best and enjoying the process. The process is just as important ,if not more important than the result. Children will realize that there are so many things to learn on the way which are so valuable to them.
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Cheng Cheng is a parenting expert with two boys age 5 and 6. She has learnt a lot from books and other mothers. She hopes to share her experiences and knowledge which will definitely be useful to you. For more articles, please go to http://www.raisingconfidentkids.com
Labels: building, children, communicate, confidence, criticism, encourage, help, kids, perfection
Copyright © 2008 Karin Vibe Rheymer Stewart
When my husband was in college, a number of his fellow students were bringing their dirty laundry home, and Mom was coming once a month to clean their room. This wasn't because they were lazy, but they simply didn't know how to do the laundry or house cleaning!
Don't let your children become like those students... Apart from the fact that teaching your children house and other chores prepare them for life on their own, they're also chores that you don't need to do! I know, I know, it takes time to teach them how to do it, and there will be quite a few times when you will need to finish the job behind them, but once they know, you will never need to do it again until they leave... And, at least until they reach eight or so, they will be proud to be entrusted with "big people" tasks.
So, what tasks can be safely delegated to your children? It depends on their age, but there are things they can do as early as 2 years old. Below is a list of tasks by age group:
Toddlers: Can dust with an electromagnetic cloth or baby wipe; Spray and scrub the sink and bathtub with water and a sponge; pick up toys or other floor clutter and put them in baskets or bins - if the baskets are labeled with pictures, they can even put the right toys in the right container! At this point, anything you give them to do except putting the toys away will be more to give them something to do while you are cleaning, but they will try to do their best if you take the time to teach them, and it will seem natural to them when they graduate to more complex tasks.
Preschoolers: Sweep with kid-size broom; spray and squeegee windows using lemon- or vinegar-water (inside windows only, please!); use a handheld vacuum; wipe sinks using baby wipes; empty a small trash basket into a bigger bag; scrub corners of kitchen chairs or other small spaces using a clean toothbrush or nail brush and a cup of water; make beds (preferably with a comforter, it's easier for them); fold towels; put clothes in drawers; hang clothes on hooks; put dirty clothes in hamper; help feed animals; wipe off baseboards, windowsills with small cloth or wearing old socks on their hands; help wipe up spills; dry unbreakable dishes; pick up litter in the yard.
Kindergartners: sweep small areas with a dustpan and broom; clean bathroom sinks; hang up the towel after a bath; store bath toys; help in the kitchen (stirring, tearing lettuce, etc. - no knife yet!); set the napkins and silverware on the table; clear dishes from the table (depends on your child, you know if they risk breaking them or not); help load the dishwasher; straighten plastic dishes in a cabinet; help straighten pots and pans; sort family members' clean laundry; dust furniture; strip linens from beds; straighten books on a bookshelf; put game and puzzle pieces in correct storage containers; use a lint remover to pick up pet hair on furniture; tidy up their room.
Younger Elementary School Kids: Make beds (any of them); take out garbage; sweep stairs and walks; clean the car and help wash it; vacuum their own room; sort and straighten toys; fold and put away laundry; empty the dishwasher; feed and care for pets; set and clean the table (but only with unbreakable dishes and cups at this point); sort clothes for washing.
Older Elementary School Kids: Clean bathroom mirrors; vacuum; clean toilets; clean countertops and the kitchen sink; mop small-area floors; use the washer and dryer; wash, dry and put away dishes; clean pet areas; clean cobwebs and dust in high places with a pole; sweep the garage; set and clean the table (by the end of elementary school, they usually are able to do it with regular dishes and glasses).
Teenagers: Can do everything you do, except for the most intensive jobs, or the ones using noxious products, such as deep-cleaning of the oven, or removing mold from the bathroom tiles.
So, when will you sit down and create a chore chart for your children? What chores will you assign to each, depending on their ages? What will you do with the time you are saving this way?
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Karin Vibe-Rheymer-Stewart, Ph.D., helps busy women reclaim time and achieve work/life balance through whole-life time management, in other words everything that affects your use of time. She works through one-on-one coaching, group coaching, seminars and talks. For free resources and to contact her, go to http://www.superwomanrelief.com .