Hip Kids Blog

One of the first questions that a child asks his schoolmates when they return to school after the holidays is, "What did you get for Christmas?" With this year's economy forcing parents to cut back, experts believe it is a good time to teach children about one of life's challenges - learning how to live moderately.

Child therapists agree that it is more important to be together during the holidays than to simply buy gifts because the love children feel from the attention you give them will last longer than a gift. And when we teach our children the value of giving to others, it gives the holidays new meaning.

In the new year of 2009, many parents are also going to have to make some difficult decisions about the cost of childcare because they simply cannot afford it anymore. To qualify for childcare assistance through the Department of Social Services, a person must be working.

Over 10 million Americans are out of work and another 6.7 million are working part-time. More than 7 million are working part-time. As parents lose employment, as their hours are cutback, they are taking their children out of organized child care and making due with whatever affordable situation they can find. One problem: many families with no resources for childcare are turning to young family members to care of their younger siblings.

Parents rely on childcare when they are at work, but it is also a great social outlet for children who look forward to it every day. But today, more and more families are being forced to drop out of childcare, due to the economy. This trend signals difficult times for families.

According to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Parent Referral Agencies, day care costs nationwide can run from $3,380 to $10,787 a year for just one preschool-age child.

Some other interesting statistics on the current economy and its impact on children include:

-More than 11 million children under age 5 spend a portion of their day, every week, in the care of someone other than their mother.
-On average, a child of a working mom spends about 36 hours a week in childcare.

With the current economic crisis, quality child care is even more important to the healthy development of each child. For many low income families, child care is the only place that children receive a nutritious meal and snack, given that food is often one of the first places parents sacrifice.

One thing parents must understand when thinking about childcare costs is that each state has a star rating system and the more stars required, the higher educated childcare employees must be in order to meet the standards.

One suggestion to cut costs without sacrificing is for families to look to lower cost, in-home childcare. And remember that once a child hits school age the working parent would regain that income.

In the meantime, maybe the growing economic stress will demand that businesses find ways to be more family friendly and find ways to work parents who have young children.

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Kristin Gabriel is an author and social media marketing professional and works with Rocco Basile - http://www.roccobasile.org - of the the Basile Builders Group based in New York. Basile works with several charities including Children of the City and the Joe DiMaggio Committee for Xaverian High School.

Do your children come home from a weekend with your ex in an altered state? Do you wonder if they've experienced a close encounter of the third kind? Are their behaviors drastically different than during the time when they live with you?

It's important for your children that you discover the whys of this behavioral change. Is he not getting any discipline when he's away from you? Is he neglected and left to his own devices at your exs? Is he abandoned while your ex chases a new skirt? Or if he's staying with mommy, is she watching TV or absorbed in a novel while the kid runs rampant? Or is the child indulged to a point beyond spoiling and given everything he wants when he's visiting the ex?

Your child deserves continuity. This means that the rules should be the same at both dad and mom's house. Have a chat (out of earshot from your child) with your ex about continuity. Don't be blaming or making him/her feel guilty. Simply work toward what is best for your child and know that each of you wants that. Talk about each behavior you see that comes home to you in an altered state and communicate with your ex about how to prevent it for the sake of the child's continuity and emotional stability. You ex may not agree with you, but at least you will know that you did address the issue for the sake of your child.

Now of course, each household will reflect the persona of the mom or the dad and they cannot be precisely identical for the sake of the child's continuity. You might just have to allow your kid a few hours grace while he adjusts back into your way of doing things when he comes home from your ex's home. The kid's change in behavior is most likely to be expected, so cut them a little slack, and remember that they are still dealing with the idea that the two of you are divorced and they don't have themselves wrapped around that idea fully yet. These visits bring up that idea all over again, so be patient and understanding while they adjust to being back at your home again.

If your ex thinks that allowing your kids to eat junk food, party hearty while they are with him with no consideration for bedtimes, and if your conversations with him about this have been ineffective, then here's a comforting thought that I'd like to leave you with: Eventually (when they mature) your kids will recognize the difference and will applaud you for your value-driven decisions.

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In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com